ISEL, OLZHAS AND EARLY CASSIOPEIA

Originally written in Summer of 2022.

so to go over isel and olzhas’ history. because i realised ive never really described it chronologically.

first thing to establish is they both came to the train looking for escape. 

olzhas has lead a life of dissatisfaction and general fatigue, finding everything e’s ever done an aimless wander. eir work toward a programming degree where e mostly just cheated off everyone else using eir clairvoyance and coasted through by pure guesswork and plagiarism was… beyond unfulfilling, to say the least, though e didn’t know what else to do with emself. some of this pressure was alleviated as e took up mixology, which e valued for being a relaxing time usually, and also as an opportunity to build up social skills. though e only became more embittered toward the path e’d chosen e also became more arrogant, and so bought a ticket fornax using eir university’s funds (long story) and disappeared immediately LOL. for a week or so e felt particularly guilty but after learning the train was stagnant e shed all of that for relief instead, realising e’d escaped the mess eir life was for the foreseeable future. e practically used fornax as an excuse to turn a new leaf which… innumerably aided in em becoming more comfortable with emself and building up new skills e genuinely liked partaking in. in early train months olzhas was known for being somewhat boisterous and annoying as e adjusted to eir newfound freedom, though most people found em endearing and encouraged eir energy.

isel, comparatively, is defined by dilution. ve always knew ve wanted to do visual art and so, since ve was young ve gravitated toward paintings, sculptures, anything ve could simply create. and in the midst of ver adolescence ve got both a brain injury and decreased vision. though ve didn’t immediately give up ve found it significantly harder to work on tactile things without injuring verself or straining excessively. ve’d forego long stretches of discouragement as ve tried to come to terms with ver loss in abilities, and though ve found breaks of triumph in sketching and painting… that closed up too, and ve couldn’t work on anything without risk of losing ver entire ability. ve spent a lot of months grieving this change since art was practically ver one ambition, and alongside the panic of having nothing else to support verself with, ve didn’t know what else ve could do that wasn’t equally as dangerous. thinking to ver senses, ve decided ve could reasonably do something related to voice acting, public speaking, anything that only required speech. ve landed a job as a radio host after a number of frantic applications, and ve managed to regain a lot of confidence through ver work, eventually branching out from typical news and music into developed scripts ve performed with other actors. once again ve found a perfect calling, and ve was immensely satisfied, hoping ve could do this for the rest of ver life. then, ve reported on fornax, and subsequently got suspended from ver station. though this limit technically only existed for a few weeks, isel found the timing unnatural, and effectively just freaked verself out into paranoia. tired of having ver dreams shattered again, and also finding it an intelligent hiding place in the haze of everything, ve got on fornax.

and so, both of them quite exhausted, olzhas and isel meet. isel entered the train sleep-deprived and scared, and the solitary days of catchup the train had to do hardly helped. ve genuinely didn’t know what to expect and half-anticipated fornax being a death trap set up by the scientists. by the time ve arrived ve was both immensely resigned and afraid, and… the first person to greet ver is this weird fancy guy who’s all soft-spoken and casual. which kind of softens the blow of all the mounting anxiety ve had. conversely olzhas found eir place in the fornax community, though still found eir life dull and wanted to do something more exciting and poignant. upon meeting isel, who was somewhat eccentric and was also alluding to what seemed to be an exciting escapade, a lot of gears shifted in eir mind. e wanted to delve deeper.

they got to know each other after a few more conversations — for the first few days olzhas was practically the only person isel wanted to talk to, and they both pried each other open, so to speak. olzhas only found isel more intriguing as e learned more — e thought ver perseverance was inspiring and the entire story about ver radio ban only got em thinking about the kind of things e was missing out on doing… though misguided somewhat LOL e was interested in isel’s more tumtulous life and basically found ver as a reflection of the drive and experience e wished to have. notably e also found isel fascinating for freely blocking off eir clairvoyance with a sort of static, as opposed to the more direct and annoying typicality of it getting shut off silently, since e’s never encountered anyone else who’s been able to do that. and isel found olzhas’ adaptability and more recent self-described change as wonderful too, starting to ruminate on the sudden upheaval of ver life being an opportunity instead of a tragedy. 

another notable step isel took was coming to terms with fornax in general? for a short while ve was quite scared of the reality and the way it shifted, mostly in a cosmic ‘what power does it hold over us’ kind of way. and in addition ve was somewhat scared of the train, wondering if anything ve did was being overheard by the scientists. olzhas helped ver overcome this, giving ver a number of tours around the train and personally helping ver explore more decrepit areas for proof that no communication back to earth existed. ve practically did a 180 from ver fears and found fornax’s shapelessness and lack of documentation comforting, alongside adopting a more negative view of the scientists and blaming them for basically everything that’s gone wrong these past few weeks. eventually ver focus dropped and ve simply started to enjoy ver time on the train with olzhas, who eventually confessed eir romantic feelings for ver. the two started dating barely a month and a bit after they first met, which was basically a shock to nobody else on the train — isel was a mystery to almost everyone BUT olzhas and e spent a lot of time with ver to the point of basically vanishing at times.

and also! helping out isel in verself was something olzhas was beyond happy to do as e found it a meaningful time investment and also a challenge since e couldn’t just cheat eir way out of conversation by mindreading. e felt fresh about it!! isel appreciated eir help and how e was never judgemental about ver worries, finding em grounding and steady in the midst of everything else. olzhas has always wanted something worthwhile and interesting to commit to, isel’s just wished for stability, they find what they want in one another! yeah!!!!

regardless the next two years are basically just an accretion of the above but they also just grow as people yknow. isel gets to know more of the train, olzhas starts to settle into various hobbies… they still find one another’s general existence as an antithesis to their typical lives, and it’s still something they both like to examine and ponder about with great vigour. they find each other’s presence both a challenge and a comfort, and find the mutual change they both benefit from exceptionally enlightening.

aaaand what kind of happens is a good old switcheroo in terms of ideals. the very epitome of rubbing off on someone to the point where they retain more of you than of themself. isel’s aching for involvement on a grand scale after a prolonged period of ver not really doing much, and olzhas has become attached to eir routine of pastimes to the point where e doesn’t really want anything to break up the monotony of the peaceful life e’s carved out. and so when isel starts wondering about the train again, perhaps seeking some kind of apology from the people behind fornax, ve kind of keeps quiet about ver newfound plans to investigate the control room and certain train cars. this… sort of stuff takes time and since ve can’t be frank, isel takes to a habit of wordless disappearance. olzhas doesn’t question it beyond apparent mild confusion, but eventually isel feels too guilty to go on and ve comes clean about the research ve’s been doing. olzhas takes it personally and gets upset at ver for both being dishonest and going against the stability they’d established for the train, and for themselves. they argue once or twice before isel decides to break things off, finding olzhas’ motivations selfish. olzhas considers isel to be betraying em and so readily parts.

they don’t talk to one another for exactly three months. olzhas focuses on building up eir restaurant properly, as it was formerly just an alcove in eir kitchen, though that planning’s somewhat disrupted by em constantly remembering isel’s words. e comes to terms with the idea of not being able to stay on the train forever as a result, but… e’s still kind of in denial about it. 

without olzhas, isel dives head-first into investigation, taking ver motivation in high stride — ve not only wants justice for verself years ago, but also for everyone who’s come on the train, and to further protect the world from such reckless experiments. ve finds similar sentiment and inspiration in freya, at the time a new passenger who was particularly intent on exploring the train for answers. they quickly become friends, becoming accustomed to plotting together and more generally, hanging out.

simultaneously freya often skips around olzhas’ place, watching em arrange eir restaurant and scouting for em out of curiosity. eventually olzhas notices her antics and initiates conversation — though freya pokes around a bit for information about isel, olzhas freely divulges it, somewhat thankful to be able to talk about their breakup to someone else. olzhas invites freya to come to eir restaurant anytime, and following that arrangement, they also befriend one another after various conversations. freya especially finds olzhas’ clairvoyance cool, and they quickly set up a manner of psychic communication with one another via mindreading and thought broadcast, allowing them to internally talk to one another whenever they want.

eventually olzhas decides to set the record straight on the rather abrupt end of eir and isel’s relationship… e visits to clarify eir offer of isel coming to italy with em post-train still stood, which was a promise e’d made years ago to quell isel’s paranoia about the fornax scientists hunting ver down. isel genuinely appreciates the gesture and mellows somewhat, confessing ve’d missed hearing em. they have an awkward chat that doesn’t really go anywhere, but inwardly, they’re both comforted by being on speaking terms again.

as the months go on they do approach one another more and more often, rekindling their former amicability, though olzhas is still conflicted by isel’s resolution to interfere with train management. they never formally apologise to one another, something isel finds kind of eh, but ve supposes that’ll come by eventually… ve’s just glad to rebuild the foundations of ver bridge with olzhas. they’re at least acquaintances again, and hang out from time to time, usually alongside freya, who they’re both besties with at this point. dalisay also comes in in the midst of this warming period and so sie catches their more volatile animosity lol, olzhas is notably meaner to isel around here as a way to discourage hir from following ver whims. olzhas’ main thing against isel is still really just the entire potential train jeopardy thing and… e recognises dalisay’s skill, e doesn’t want ANYTHING to come to fruition as a result of collaboration just yet. isel readily refutes olzhas’ insults with ver own, but ve’s picked up on the fact it’s somewhat of a farce, and so doesn’t take any back-and-forth too seriously.

eventually freya comes up with a more agreeable plan, that being some sort of radio broadcast back to earth detailing the situation on the train. olzhas believes this is far less likely to hold negative consequences for everyone currently aboard, and so is somewhat intrigued by and open to the concept. isel likes the theatricism of it, and also concurs. this eventually leads to them both reconciling and apologising properly, isel especially for ver indirectness and olzhas for eir closesightedness. whatever. it’s more complex than that but you get it it’s just personal misgivings here. they still don’t re-enter their relationship really but they are definitely comrades of a sort once more. freya is thrilled about them both being slightly less annoying now as a result.

i’ll detail things about cassiopeia some other time but. on a general scale from then on, they both follow the laid-back occasional teasing type attitude toward one another… they are both, at their core, kind of assholes and retrospectively they both find the past few months a goldmine for mockery. but they do delve into their deeper moments of genuineness from time to time and they do progress into deeper trust eventually. they’re just slowly becoming fully comfortable with one another again. cassiopeia success end notwithstanding of course, i imagine it takes a year or so for them to delve back into a proper relationship. definitely doesnt happen until post-train post-canon though